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Posted by discobimbo at 03:10 PM on March 20, 2006.
Because summer calls for fresh new beginnings!
Er, what. =|
Ignore the fact that the first statement sounded like some Palmolive fresh advertisement.
http://www.tabulas.com/~onlythesun
Posted by discobimbo at 03:08 PM on March 19, 2006.
I may look like I don't know, or don't suspect anything, but I do. I do know. I do know when something has got the potential of being a lie or when something doesn't seem right. And I'm telling you, right now, I know something's not right. I do know when people still think of me as something negative or something untrue even if they say they don't. Sometimes, because I'm simply afraid, I play dumb-- and pretend I don't notice a thing. But I do notice things, in fact, I'm persnickety usually when things don't call for it, and it's during these times that I.. Oh, sheesh. I can't go on again. I'm out of words. Or maybe it's just that I might say too much.
And I've always been paranoid. Lately I've been getting the feeling that people just force themselves to talk to me. Oh, wait, that's not paranoia, that's insecurity. .. I wonder when I'll be able to fully help myself out of this.
Sheesh. I'm such a snake. =| I have got to stop being all locked up within myself.
... But then again, I need someone with a key.
Oh, Maronne. That was really lame of you, haha.
Currently listening to: Precious Things (Tori Amos)
Posted by discobimbo at 08:32 PM on March 18, 2006.
As of today, I no longer need to surround myself in an imaginary bubble while the noise reverberates around me, thinking about what I should or shouldn't have written, cursing time [or rather, the complete lack of it], or wishing that everyone's mouths were made of ziploc. Because I really do wish that sometimes. As of today, I can say that I am free-- without anything holding me back at all. Despite emotiveness, that is.
Oh, but hormones are the perfect instruments of irony; today, or rather this afternoon is my first step into summer-- and I have an acne-ridden face. And a terrible case of nostalgia. I mean, my skin used to do perfectly well, thank you very much. Now, I have three red spots on my face, and a whole lot more tiny bumps as a result of being another frustrated adolescent. Oh joy. Goodbye, Sandara Krong-Krong, my lovely alter-ego-alter-ego-alter-ego-alter-ego. [Yes, she is the alter-ego of my alter-ego of my alter-ego's alter-ego and so on and so forth. So I wonder what I'm supposed to do when I'm asked to "just be myself." I mean.. Which one?]
And the Nostalgia. I don't know why, but I terribly miss being Veilchen; my little pixelated friend from not-too-long-ago-but-seemingly-so-so-long-ago, in the well-known [or at least to MMO addicts] world of Rune-Midgard. I don't know-- I had loads of fun being a blue-haired priestess and spending my days in not-so-innocent-innocence and somewhat-conniving-naivete-- and perhaps I even miss running from [oh no, let me rephrase: teleporting from] and cussing at [contradictory to the whole Priestess idea, I know] all the annoying fools asking for a "heal" or a "buff." Even though her build was total crap. She still feels like a tiny part of me, somehow.
It's weird to admit, but if it weren't for Veilchen, I wouldn't have grown up as much. =|
But what the hey. It's summer, everyone! Well, almost everyone. Hopefully I'll use this summer as a tool for my own enrichment-- I need to catch up on my sleep and read a new book. In fact, I've already found one. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, because I've lusted after his books [particularly the Sandman series because it looks so damn amazing] for such a long time. [Last december, as far as I recall-- or was it November? Ewan.] .. I was just never allowed to buy them. I mean, they're pretty pricey. So I guess you'd be able to imagine my happiness when I found at least something by Neil Gaiman in my sister's deserted room.
Okay, so. Things to do during summer. Minor ones, at least. Before we leave for the US, of course.
1.) Read, read, read like crazy, because you finally have all the time in the world. Well, sort of. This includes purchasing books you might have been setting your eyes on for some time
2.) Visit Divisoria/Greenhills again. Perhaps more than once this summer. Try to do the bargaining yourself. [I really have to learn, but I'm really.. shy when it comes to bargaining. xD]
3.) Visit Bonnie's puppies in Tagaytay, and paint on that blank wall, because you're allowed and mom actually supports it. Include symbolic versions of your friends in the painting, that the wall may serve as some sort of time capsule. Aw Maronne, you sentimental thing.
4.) Learn how to zip. You've always wanted to. It looks super cute and killer. Plus they teach zipping in our park. [I won't pass that opportunity up.]
5.) Get in touch with your artistic side again; Scan your recent artworks and post them in your DA account. Try painting pictures this time; [perhaps I'll try to ask mom if I could buy a canvas and finish at least one painting.] Be productive; try to actually FINISH those songs/poems you've been writing.
6.) Take my friends to EK. I mean PGPS, of course. KKB though. I'm not paying for your tickets. Ano kami mayaman? XD
7.) In general, try out every new thing that comes to mind and seems plausible.
Currently listening to: 12:51 (The Strokes)
Posted by discobimbo at 09:23 PM on March 9, 2006.
I'm dependant. I wonder how I'm going to live college life abroad once I graduate from high school. =| NO I'M NOT TAKING UP NURSING if that's what you're thinking. Er, and no discrimination against people who did take it up intended.
Heh, do I still even want to study in a foreign country? E sayang naman kasi yung citizenship ko. But eh, I don't know.
May batch party daw? Again? O RLY. 'Tever.
I just blogged without actually knowing what I was blogging about. I mean.. Do you honestly see a significant point in this entry? LOL. Walang kwenta. What a waste of pixels.
I'm retarded.
Posted by discobimbo at 10:21 PM on February 28, 2006.
Oh yes. I'm a superstar.
Seriously. I wish I wasn't just recognized as the girl with the money and the clothes, though. =| I don't know. I've got principles and standards and shit. And that image has always ranked really low for me. I wish I was recognized as something with more meaning or substance, but alas, that is something that, perhaps, I will never be to anybody else but uh. Er. Not even me, actually.
But honestly all this is quite funny.
Although I'm not sure. I'm kind of tweaked. I only realized that it's actually getting to me. Just today. Wala lang.
Being recognized as a posh, spoiled rich girl who knows about nothing else but clothes is actually really cheap to me. :))
.. But whatever. I can't change it, I guess. It really is what I am.
The truth is the only reason why I shop that damn much is because it's one of the few things that actually keep me sane and happy and shit, aside from the usual art-- but then again I can't do that that as much because of the spreading allergy on my left hand. I'm really this insecure piece of shit who lacks tremendous amounts of attention-- or perhaps is just spoiled like that. Well anyway everything else just consists of doubt and paranoia. "What ifs" and shit like that. *Shrug* And the sad thing is it all just might be for a petty reason. Gah, I'm so immature. :))
Why can't I just be the retard girl then?
Oh well. I'll try to think positively for once. :)) Just a bit irked. Or perhaps hiding the fact that I'm really just annoyed by this.
Ehm. Perhaps it's all just petty and I don't realize it. Perhaps I'm just shallow.
Perhaps your eyebrow is raised right now.
Hn. .. Whatever. The rest goes to my personal journal; ha.
Currently listening to: O. Lover (Jason Mraz)